lights, windshields, brakes. doesn't matter if you are not watching.
can't think of a moment when you don't picture the end of the road the moment you get behind the wheel.
it may take minutes or hours, it doesn't matter either. you may or may not be prepared for whatever gets in front of you.
under the clear sky the lights lit softer. under the moon light the others look fussy, but why do you cover your viewing windows?
cross the bridge thinking my destination is right there but not every time that's absolute. nothing i believe is absolute, and sometimes i get hungry.
when the light turns red you need to stop, that would avoid the head on. anyway what's done it's done and you don't have a party going on.
for a moment my words become playful and she laughs and i want to hold her but nothing is absolute.
what were you thinking. and i forgot, until i passed by the same place and it was already clear. still i keep my eyes open to try and catch every light up. and my heart is still soft, but the shell is stiff enough.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
the doors
i'm sure this one is bad, because it lets the warm air out, and i feel the chills of the word outside.
there was a time when the double doors used to be every days life into the dark dusty walls of routine and everything else. now those double doors look so hollow.
then i remember the day when a door closing could cause my the deepest frustration looking through the little square window, like it was important. it all depended on everybody's perspective. some others liked open doors better.
for the longest time i didn't care about the open door, today when the sun was up, i found one of them open and the stuff inside was broken if not gone, and all of a sudden i feel ripped and angry, and so useless, and i know i'm going to need to do something about it, which i thought i never would.
and i visit places where the doors make a sound, but still nobody looks. now it's time to lock my door.
there was a time when the double doors used to be every days life into the dark dusty walls of routine and everything else. now those double doors look so hollow.
then i remember the day when a door closing could cause my the deepest frustration looking through the little square window, like it was important. it all depended on everybody's perspective. some others liked open doors better.
for the longest time i didn't care about the open door, today when the sun was up, i found one of them open and the stuff inside was broken if not gone, and all of a sudden i feel ripped and angry, and so useless, and i know i'm going to need to do something about it, which i thought i never would.
and i visit places where the doors make a sound, but still nobody looks. now it's time to lock my door.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
salad
most of times it looks green, or so i thought two minutes ago; what about tuna salad, it would be horrible if it looked green, and most probably stinky too.
it used to be strange to me, like something i didn't want to have, i didn't even want to know about it. but everyone gets old, that's what life is; growing up and getting old.
sill i wonder why this guy takes his breakfast to the desk, and worst even, i'm taking after lunch to the desk now. i guess it's not to bad since it's only salad. bullshit, i know it's bad, next time i will take my time... i'll take it to the table where it is supposed to find it's end. i have time enough.
these days i can't even imagine a day without it, without olive oil and tomatoes. man i wish i was beautiful.
Monday, March 8, 2010
racing
the road is almost unnoticeable now. i seem to be looking at the gauges but i'm not. i'm always paying attention to you even when i'm ignoring you.
voices go around the yard, the wind and the stock market, but i'm trying to get the taste of out of the maté but it's too bitter. the earphones stayed in the travel bag. are this my new shoes?
i happen to have plans for the next days, and i'm still thinking she's gonna back down, she's not gonna stay. and i have to get to the meeting, see the non-matching numbers that can't be used just to go back.
the picture looks the same as it looked 7 hours ago, yet i manage to advance.
if i only had waited, if i only had been patient. need to call, need to see, need to calm down and get some chocolate. not sure if the sunshine is for real or is it like at the campsite, just a nice picture. need to get gasoline anyways. and i still recall to smile every once in a while.
her figure was not expected this time around, but she seems to be waiting for me. hello, hello. and my demons pay their tricks and go so indifferent so cold. i have to ask her, i'm gonna ask her and then she's gone. but why was she smiling at me then she just left?
tomorrow, tonight, need gasoline, and need some paper but it's late or maybe not. the clock walks backwards for a minute and then it runs away and it's already midnight and i still forgot the reason i got my plastic bags. just look at her, she's gorgeous. tomorrow, green or chai? e-mail or phone. time's up.
voices go around the yard, the wind and the stock market, but i'm trying to get the taste of out of the maté but it's too bitter. the earphones stayed in the travel bag. are this my new shoes?
i happen to have plans for the next days, and i'm still thinking she's gonna back down, she's not gonna stay. and i have to get to the meeting, see the non-matching numbers that can't be used just to go back.
the picture looks the same as it looked 7 hours ago, yet i manage to advance.
if i only had waited, if i only had been patient. need to call, need to see, need to calm down and get some chocolate. not sure if the sunshine is for real or is it like at the campsite, just a nice picture. need to get gasoline anyways. and i still recall to smile every once in a while.
her figure was not expected this time around, but she seems to be waiting for me. hello, hello. and my demons pay their tricks and go so indifferent so cold. i have to ask her, i'm gonna ask her and then she's gone. but why was she smiling at me then she just left?
tomorrow, tonight, need gasoline, and need some paper but it's late or maybe not. the clock walks backwards for a minute and then it runs away and it's already midnight and i still forgot the reason i got my plastic bags. just look at her, she's gorgeous. tomorrow, green or chai? e-mail or phone. time's up.
Monday, March 1, 2010
rushing
Looks like another chilly morning when I step off the door and walk to the car, started my motor up and let it warm for a couple minutes. I'm still on time, wind is not blowing and the mood shine's gorgeous.
Am I too old to hurry? Everybody seems to be pretty eager. Got through the first traffic light no problem, nothing fancy, nothing quick, nothing different... or not too much anyways.
My brain is trying to tell me I need to remember what I was thinking last night with the tea. Then I recall my thoughts, and start to rush between my ears and my nose, but in the end, there are 20 miles between my eyes and the desktop.
I stop and stare, and she is beautiful. Not full or white but so beautiful. Then my thoughts go back to the calm and cold atmosphere out of my skin, and my fingers hurt 'cause it's so cold.
Back in the mirrors I can's see faces or feeling, it's only lights and chrome, but I can tell this one is trying to pass on the right. That's how the brave do, on the right, get the intimidation going. But it doesn't make any sense to me. Yet they are racing nonsense like there's a trophy when they're crossing the line. Where's the line that I can't see it?
I keep backing down while the sportsmen pass me on the right, one after the other. I still have some more way to go. I'm still not sure bout the destination but it's not close by yet.
Months, days and hours ago I was told the right way to set up the mirrors, and I still don't know why this is not public knowledge, it may be good for the insurance companies but who cares, it's only steel, rubber and glass.
She said: "think about the one who inspires you", and twenty minutes from now it became an answer in the void. Into a cosmic black. Like a drop of water in the middle of the rain. And I still wonder why they keep racing.
I look ahead. I follow the rules. But he didn't set the mirrors like I did. He didn't look ahead too. So I had to back off, back down and hit the brake. But other things get higher priority as I eye balled my gauges, my mirrors, and the back of my head, all the way down to the walls of my lungs. Cause everything causes a chemical reaction in the end.
And we still think the world is turning around us. It is so important, that we can't stop, so important that everyone else should pay attention to what we are doing. So we keep going our own direction, rushing and running around, racing nonsense till the end. Did you have your happy ending?
Am I too old to hurry? Everybody seems to be pretty eager. Got through the first traffic light no problem, nothing fancy, nothing quick, nothing different... or not too much anyways.
My brain is trying to tell me I need to remember what I was thinking last night with the tea. Then I recall my thoughts, and start to rush between my ears and my nose, but in the end, there are 20 miles between my eyes and the desktop.
I stop and stare, and she is beautiful. Not full or white but so beautiful. Then my thoughts go back to the calm and cold atmosphere out of my skin, and my fingers hurt 'cause it's so cold.
Back in the mirrors I can's see faces or feeling, it's only lights and chrome, but I can tell this one is trying to pass on the right. That's how the brave do, on the right, get the intimidation going. But it doesn't make any sense to me. Yet they are racing nonsense like there's a trophy when they're crossing the line. Where's the line that I can't see it?
I keep backing down while the sportsmen pass me on the right, one after the other. I still have some more way to go. I'm still not sure bout the destination but it's not close by yet.
Months, days and hours ago I was told the right way to set up the mirrors, and I still don't know why this is not public knowledge, it may be good for the insurance companies but who cares, it's only steel, rubber and glass.
She said: "think about the one who inspires you", and twenty minutes from now it became an answer in the void. Into a cosmic black. Like a drop of water in the middle of the rain. And I still wonder why they keep racing.
I look ahead. I follow the rules. But he didn't set the mirrors like I did. He didn't look ahead too. So I had to back off, back down and hit the brake. But other things get higher priority as I eye balled my gauges, my mirrors, and the back of my head, all the way down to the walls of my lungs. Cause everything causes a chemical reaction in the end.
And we still think the world is turning around us. It is so important, that we can't stop, so important that everyone else should pay attention to what we are doing. So we keep going our own direction, rushing and running around, racing nonsense till the end. Did you have your happy ending?
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