I sat under the shade of a shadow, under the cloudy sky watching people and wheels go by. Slipping to the those rainy days sitting on the sidewalk dreaming of structure and control.

The man on tv said it right, or the person who wrote it anyway, "we are not that different as a flock of birds". There is a collective mind somewhere in the wind.

This morning moving back to work, there is darkness and artificial lights pointing in two directions only. I loose grip and start slipping the way I don't want to, but the computer really has the control, so I keep going straight in the direction to the office.

Memories of the night I use to dream about being part of the machinery, spinning at the right speed in the correct direction, at the precise moment. And the flock moving with the ring of a bell. Everything under control.

And it gets so difficult to figure out the gray car, as difficult as it is to figure out her blue eyes. It takes a lot more effort, and some days I don't want to work that hard. I'm just a simple man, with a simple name.

Walk back to earth into the air conditioned building and sit still, and sing along, and wait to talk to the boss and then get yet a new surprise. I need to wait and keep singing along. But tomorrow sill be a quiet day, and I'll drive in the rain one more.

Need to keep on searching, or just let go with the flow. And all I know is I'll soon be back in the forest, with the smell of oil and the sweetness of the moonshine.

switch

the night comes quiet and smooth over my shoulders, heavy and gently. As the words hit gently deep inside my heart, smoothly coated with steel.

i decided to let go, to give up once and for all... and this is what I've got. A sweet layer of truth and cold breeze over my eyes.

the clouds move in shapes I've seen before. There are just very few thins I've never seen. I've never seen eyes staring at me, the way I stare at them. And I get ready to change; get ready to switch, as I'm sick of getting every day to the very same scenario, to the same old bitching every morning.

it's getting cold soon and I'm thinking of the dark black sky over the race track staring smoothly over me. I'm ready to get away. Away from me for three days and two nights just for the sake of life, so I can breath again.

just when I decided to give up all the way. There's nothing to go for, there are no sky to dream upon. So I'll just ride on on my own, as I did all of this time. And one day I will dream on.

This feeling inside

An unexpected call in the phone, after having my mind fixated with the same picture all day. She just asked about me, after a long time. Then when we get face to face she just fades away. It's like the wireless world is not willing to happen so far.

The next phone call goes deeper to the past more than my new life far away and now I realize how those days are gone, a long way gone.

Get out and have a cigarette, or make it three, I'm just second hand smoking anyway. Everything may change. For the better? I don't know. Out of the wire world it gets so confusing when voices and faces don't connect with the ideas in my head, since I'm giving up to emotion.

I still stay outside trying to think when all I do is feel, then trying to feel the way to go further up in life. Try to feel my own life, but it gets hard this day that I learned how an old friend hangs to life with all the strength he has left.

To think about the aches and pains going through my body, knowing the father of a baby boy can't even sit on his own. And the calmness in his voice. While others still try to kill themselves swallowing pills.

My eyes go far long away into the sky, casting my glance over the clouds head to one office and then another one, to meet the talker in the crossroads, get a light, and go back to the routine. Back inside under the roof in silence, and I think about him, and I thing about her.

Just waiting for another loud cloudy day around the steel, rubber and gasoline. To have that jolly part of life to give me the calmness to feel. This feeling inside.

...about the music

Shifting up, shifting down. The basics go down to weight management, still everybody are so eager to try the cool stuff, "heel and toe", loose the rear end... the four wheel drift.

Can you do it in an automatic? ...maybe if you really know how to manage the weight and your transmission. But she thought I drove an automatic.

Went out to get something to eat with a baby's grandpa' and talk about houses, paint and tile, gardens and all the good things in life. Then I seem not to be playing by the rules, not the American way.

At times I still wonder what's the American dream. Then I think about the music, and how is it possible that she likes Maná; while I sing the song in my head, and I don't want to go home. "Into the light of the dark black night".

"Because the night belongs to lovers"

...a simple quiestion, for a simple person...

One day I woke up and I didn't want to go. Got there late and no one noticed it, it doesn't really matter. When I look up to the sky it's still beautiful.

The next day I made up my mind and left early like I still enjoy driving that way. And there's always the question: "what keeps you here?", but the answer is ever more difficult to find. I do know I don't want to go back.

Familiar happy faces make my day late under the high ceiling and one of them came with a surprise to me, and she is so nice and sweet. And she looks like a princess from a world overseas up high in the mountains.

Back again in the middle of the mixture the most unlikely figure shows up with a simple question, for a simple person, and there it is again. Just when the face began to disappear whit the days gone; her name comes straight to the front of my eyes, and sticks to the front of my thoughts, and I have this uncertainty again deep inside my chest. While I hear the songs without her name, but with her eyes all over the place.

Lift the door to grab the cup, and fix my tea staring at the red apple, thinking about the green apple and letting go the idea of her, since she disappears with the morning wind, or the night breeze anyways.

All seems so confusing, and people get so complicated, but in the end I cast my gaze into the dark cool night and the moon shines red, and I fall in love again, but my wallet is empty. I breath back deep inside and I don't care for some minutes and I live again.

Tomorrow will be...

Tomorrow we'll see...

Tonight I'll dream, 'bout the apple of my eye.

thoughts

At times I have thoughts, and sometimes I get ideas and they just run away in less than a second, and they are gone forever. Sometimes they come back after a while, but that doesn't happen that often.

This long weekend became too short all of a sudden and I'm here trying to get some of my thoughts back to my mind, so I can process them and put them in writing but that's just not going to happen today.