two in the morning

's been crossing my mind for long years.

short notice crush crushed into pieces when i learned she's getting married. now when i can hear her laughter far away. now that i can tell her smell from far apart.

in the animal world all the senses get filled when the moment is right and you are strong enough. can't take you eyes out of her, your heart pounds so hard when you are near, tongue and eyes get moist, the muscles tense up...

in the human world you just can't let go, and her smell keeps coming back, the sound of her voice calling your name, the bright light in her eyes when she smiles.

then all the words from the past and up high in the hierarchy swing by in front of your eyes and behind your head, in between the toes and hit so hard in the chest. to the verge of the tears. so you have to let go. just let her go.

so i face her for the last time in the place of my goddess, standing there so perfect so beautiful.

so i go out after leaving the hound to bleed wide open till almost dry, no judgements, no expectations, just my friend in an amber bottle and the sound of the speakers. out of nowhere our gazes cross and i just like the sight of you.

and when the speakers grow louder i hear the sound of her voice, and feel the touch of her skin, yet she remains so mysterious.

it feels so very strange to get in this position once again, standing between, and try to still be a gentleman when my friend has the lead. but it's just so hard to not get caught in her accent that's driving me crazy with every word she speaks.

there we stand, till two in the morning and just can't find the way to say, screw this boy, i'm falling so hard, smooth and easy. just want to hold her in my arms, when it's time to go and i can only say so long before she goes back home.

two in the morning saying good bye, hoping this conversation could last just a little longer. but she will stay for long in my mind, as i learn again to let go.